Locked?? post oh yeaaahh

[remarch]

Who: March and the adventures of Bakanary
When: Day 37, Evening


[March is quite fond of the fourth level, with its strange ideas about fresh air and actual sky, which is why he's easily found sitting down on the rusted walk, slightly away from the portraits of the fourth level teams. Just follow the bob of red hair, or the shrill sound of someone idly scraping into the metal with a knife.

Where he definitely isn't considering the best way to eviscerate another team no siree.]

Comments

[asthecrowdies]

If I wanted a fight don't think we'd have done that by now? Shit dude, I really haven't been short on opportunities here. You've drawn rich birdie blood twice.

[remarch]

Fine, you can perch in the corner.

[While I go kill like half your team okay

this is a legit offer.]

[asthecrowdies]

Jesus fuck. Do you seriously want to do this over some bullshit thing Rabbit said? Dude I'm telling you, he has o fucking clue what you're about. He's the dude who never wants to attack anyone in games. He's basically the least fucked up guy on the team. He wants to give you a black eye, not a gut wound.

[remarch]

[The slightest twitch on 'gut wound'.]

So his idea of war is punching people in the face? Really?

[asthecrowdies]

Yes?? Like. Probably a lot of face punching. But he can't stomach killing people in games to save his own fucking life. I don't think he could bring himself to kill in cold blood personally period. Look dude. I'm sorry you grew up in a murder hell hole or something. But some people's biggest worries were not popping a stiffy when talking to a hot cheer leader.

[remarch]

[I have no idea what the fuck that is.]

If he keeps threatening me, I'm going to show him that I can kill in cold blood personally, and repeatedly, and with his organs nailed to a wall.

[asthecrowdies]

I'll tell him to cut it out. I've kind tried already but basically no one listens to me.

You're never exactly short in the threats either though, dude. Like. How many times would we have killed each other if I listened to even half the shit you spew? Rabbit may be a dumbass but he knows a murderhappy dbag who keeps threatening his team when he sees one.

[remarch]

Alright, the next time Duchess tries non-conning a victory out of me when I'm minding my own business, I'll stab her instead of warning her. That sounds fair to me, too.

[asthecrowdies]

Oh my god dude this is what I mean. Use your fists. You don't actually fucking want to do this, do you?

[remarch]

[YES, I DO. I CLEARLY DO. DEFINITELY. I DIDN'T EVEN LET RABBIT WALK AWAY AFTER THREATE-

wait fuck.]

I'm a knife fighter, I use knives. It's not my fault most of you are too flimsy to take a few stabs.

[asthecrowdies]

No you're a fight to kill-er. Look I'm a sword guy, I get it. But if you don't actually wanna spend the rest of forever worrying about every orange blur in the corner of your eye, maybe we need to work on how you deal with shit without trying to kill anyone.

[remarch]

[Ssstarts laughing. Mad cackling, maybe.

Yes, that's worked out so well for him in the past.]

[asthecrowdies]

Dude.

[remarch]

Pass. Are we done here? What did you come over for?

[asthecrowdies]

Uh to tell you the alliance wasn't gonna happen but Rabbit agreed not to all to you.

[remarch]

Worked that out myself. How slow do you think we are?

[Maybe he can sell King on the dentistry line, too.

... No, not really.]

[asthecrowdies]

Yeah, kinda figured you would but.

[shrug]

Anyway. What happens if this falls through, dude?

[remarch]

What this?

[asthecrowdies]

This being me trying to keep your knives out of my teammates and their passionate fists of protective fury away from your face.

[remarch]

[Holds up two hands, sock puppet style.]

"March, you filthy mongrel-" Wait, that's copper rose, hold on.

[Cough.]

"March, you crazy psychopath, I'm going to make you regret this!"

"I'll kill you."

"For some reason I am stabbed, how did this happen?! There was absolutely no warning that someone might kill me!"

Minus 9999 HP, end cut scene.

[asthecrowdies]

Fuck no. No puppets.

But yeah ok. Next scene. A sweet ass orange bird ninja kills you cuz you murdered my fucking teammate. You get revived minus your testicles or something. Next.

[remarch]

The villain has a come back which involves burning the orange ninja bird's village to the ground, and feeding all the rest of his teammates to a big, hungry dragon.

[asthecrowdies]

Right. And then everyone in the ninja village is resurrected and go on an epic journey to unite the conveniently color coded land against the evil snow clan and I guess also their dragon?? When the fuck did you get a dragon.

[remarch]

Did you really think you were our only option? Anyway, seven of the conveniently color coded land were already united against the evil snow clan, which really hasn't slowed them up much because the evil snow clan is perfectly happy to murder the good guys, their family, their pets, and then burn down all they ever loved, and also they have exploding swords. Everyone is buried, and gets replaced by like-like puppets in all the following games. They're soft, and their stuffing is always warmer than it should be when you cut them open.

If only the idiotic bird clan had, you know? Stopped starting it and taken the initial mutual offer to be left alone?

[asthecrowdies]

Dude we didn't start shit. For the record. You have stabbed three fucking people on my team and you killed one after threatening to torture someone helpless. All of this? You. Don't get me wrong, I want us to be the ones to end it. But you don't get to kill someone and stab someone else and then say you don't know what anyone's problem is.

And I don't think anyone's united against you, dude. Sure maybe they all vote for you in games when they're basically forced to, but you know thats not the same thing as being killed every time you step outside your HQ. And that's pretty much what we're talking about, isn't it?