Locked?? post oh yeaaahh

[remarch]

Who: March and the adventures of Bakanary
When: Day 37, Evening


[March is quite fond of the fourth level, with its strange ideas about fresh air and actual sky, which is why he's easily found sitting down on the rusted walk, slightly away from the portraits of the fourth level teams. Just follow the bob of red hair, or the shrill sound of someone idly scraping into the metal with a knife.

Where he definitely isn't considering the best way to eviscerate another team no siree.]

Comments

[remarch]

Funny, the last time I took a reassurance from one of you- Well, listened to, you're not all exactly unpredictable, are you?- it was that Duchess would be keeping him from causing me harm and taking care of the issue, and next thing I know, a few hours later he's having a little chat to me.

Do you really think I'm going to keep nodding to these waste of time lies?

[asthecrowdies]

Yeah cuz we aren't exactly all on the same page here. I dunno why you think a bunch of total strangers tossed together and stripped of their memories are all gonna want to do the same thing? I mean I fucking know Celeste ain't that way, though it looks like you've lost or chased off the ones that aren't down with threats of eviseration. So uh. Good job I guess?

Look. Rabbit wants you to fuck off, and yeah he wants you to know he's not scared of you and he'll protect his team. It ain't complicated. It doesn't mean we all got together and decided it was time to bag ourselves a March trophy to hang over the staircase.

[remarch]

[Double speed, and some of the hoarseness of his injured throat is leaking in now with his raw aggression:]

How can I fuck off if none of you leave me alone, and then I get the blame for it? Didn't I offer that? Didn't you ignore it? If you want a fight, I'll give you all one you'll regret, but I'm not playing this stupid fucking waiting game so you get excuses because I had a conversation with someone, and you don't approve of my existence. Or did you all expect me to just jump off the roof?

[asthecrowdies]

If I wanted a fight don't think we'd have done that by now? Shit dude, I really haven't been short on opportunities here. You've drawn rich birdie blood twice.

[remarch]

Fine, you can perch in the corner.

[While I go kill like half your team okay

this is a legit offer.]

[asthecrowdies]

Jesus fuck. Do you seriously want to do this over some bullshit thing Rabbit said? Dude I'm telling you, he has o fucking clue what you're about. He's the dude who never wants to attack anyone in games. He's basically the least fucked up guy on the team. He wants to give you a black eye, not a gut wound.

[remarch]

[The slightest twitch on 'gut wound'.]

So his idea of war is punching people in the face? Really?

[asthecrowdies]

Yes?? Like. Probably a lot of face punching. But he can't stomach killing people in games to save his own fucking life. I don't think he could bring himself to kill in cold blood personally period. Look dude. I'm sorry you grew up in a murder hell hole or something. But some people's biggest worries were not popping a stiffy when talking to a hot cheer leader.

[remarch]

[I have no idea what the fuck that is.]

If he keeps threatening me, I'm going to show him that I can kill in cold blood personally, and repeatedly, and with his organs nailed to a wall.

[asthecrowdies]

I'll tell him to cut it out. I've kind tried already but basically no one listens to me.

You're never exactly short in the threats either though, dude. Like. How many times would we have killed each other if I listened to even half the shit you spew? Rabbit may be a dumbass but he knows a murderhappy dbag who keeps threatening his team when he sees one.

[remarch]

Alright, the next time Duchess tries non-conning a victory out of me when I'm minding my own business, I'll stab her instead of warning her. That sounds fair to me, too.

[asthecrowdies]

Oh my god dude this is what I mean. Use your fists. You don't actually fucking want to do this, do you?

[remarch]

[YES, I DO. I CLEARLY DO. DEFINITELY. I DIDN'T EVEN LET RABBIT WALK AWAY AFTER THREATE-

wait fuck.]

I'm a knife fighter, I use knives. It's not my fault most of you are too flimsy to take a few stabs.

[asthecrowdies]

No you're a fight to kill-er. Look I'm a sword guy, I get it. But if you don't actually wanna spend the rest of forever worrying about every orange blur in the corner of your eye, maybe we need to work on how you deal with shit without trying to kill anyone.

[remarch]

[Ssstarts laughing. Mad cackling, maybe.

Yes, that's worked out so well for him in the past.]

[asthecrowdies]

Dude.

[remarch]

Pass. Are we done here? What did you come over for?

[asthecrowdies]

Uh to tell you the alliance wasn't gonna happen but Rabbit agreed not to all to you.

[remarch]

Worked that out myself. How slow do you think we are?

[Maybe he can sell King on the dentistry line, too.

... No, not really.]

[asthecrowdies]

Yeah, kinda figured you would but.

[shrug]

Anyway. What happens if this falls through, dude?

[remarch]

What this?

[asthecrowdies]

This being me trying to keep your knives out of my teammates and their passionate fists of protective fury away from your face.

[remarch]

[Holds up two hands, sock puppet style.]

"March, you filthy mongrel-" Wait, that's copper rose, hold on.

[Cough.]

"March, you crazy psychopath, I'm going to make you regret this!"

"I'll kill you."

"For some reason I am stabbed, how did this happen?! There was absolutely no warning that someone might kill me!"

Minus 9999 HP, end cut scene.

[asthecrowdies]

Fuck no. No puppets.

But yeah ok. Next scene. A sweet ass orange bird ninja kills you cuz you murdered my fucking teammate. You get revived minus your testicles or something. Next.

[remarch]

The villain has a come back which involves burning the orange ninja bird's village to the ground, and feeding all the rest of his teammates to a big, hungry dragon.